


Confusing the enemy

by allielovessterek



Category: Stiles and Derek (sterek), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Funny, Goofy - Freeform, I can't actually explain this story it is very weird, Weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2013-06-16
Packaged: 2017-12-15 03:05:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allielovessterek/pseuds/allielovessterek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Derek alone at the apartment, yet again! And they run into trouble, but it's no match for Stile's smart ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confusing the enemy

**Author's Note:**

> damn I get bored...

Derek sips his tea out of a light green mug and flips through the channels enjoying the peace.

There was a knock at the door, Derek knew who it was.

"Go away!"

There were two more knocks.

"Stiles I said _go away!"_  

Three knocks.

Derek thinks for a second, maybe it isn't Stiles. He sighs and sets his mug on the coffee table. He gets up quickly to see who it is, but then pauses with his hand on the door knob.

"Who is it?"

"It's the cleaning lady!" Stiles says in his best version of a woman's voice.

Derek rolls his eyes and opens his door. "I don't have a cleaning lady."

Stiles waltz in with a goofy smile on his face, "aha then why'd you open the door goofball?"

"Because I knew it was you." He closes the door.

"Stranger danger Derek, it is not safe to answer the door to people you don't know."

"I knew it was you." Derek repeats, gritting his teeth and crossing his arms.

"But you told me to go away." He mimicks crossing his arms also.

Derek feels his face heat up and he turns away quickly into the kitchen.

"Aw, you missed me." Stiles follows him.

"No. I told you to go away." Derek protests, fleeding into the living room.

"Yet you let me in anyway!" Stiles smirks, and sneaks up behind Derek on the couch and wraps his arms around Derek's neck.

"I am regretting it." he replies between coughs.

"Hm... why are you drinking tea at one in the afternoon?" Stiles releases Derek's neck, and hops over the couch to sit by Derek's side.

"It's never too late to have tea." Derek answers softly not removing his eyes from the tv screen.

"It's never too late to admit that you missed me, and wanted me to come here and bother you. Because you looove me. Derek you loooove me! Derek. _Derek?"_ Stiles waves his hand infront of Derek's face, but Derek stays still.

At this point Derek wants to rip his ears out of his head. Stiles slyly puts an arm around Derek's shoulders, and pulls him in hoping to get a reaction. Nothing.

"You can't ignore me forever. I'll keep talking until you answer me, okay? So today I was at Scott's, like earlier, and we were watching mean girls and we realized that one of Karen's boobs is bigger than the other one..." then he starts to talk to himself, "or wait... wait maybe it was Regina? No... Karen's got the big forehead right... nope that's Regina, mmm but she was really stupid I think-"

"You were watching mean girls?" Derek breaks his gaze from the tv to give Stiles a judgemental look. 

"Nope. But I knew if I said it, you'd stop ignoring me." He kisses the top of Derek's head, "And it worked."

"You are such a pain in the ass." Derek groans.

Stiles goes in for a kiss on the lips but Derek ducks his head and eyes Stiles like he's crazy.

Stiles backs up, with his hands up to his shoulders, "Someone is prude."

"Says the virgin." Derek snarks. 

"We could fix that." Stiles suggests, winking at Derek and nudging him with his elbow.

"We could if it wasn't considered rape." Considering the fact that Derek is twenty-two and Stiles is sixteen.

"So you would have sex with me?" Stiles shrieks, and does a fist pump in the air. Derek says nothing.

Stiles insists, "It'll be our little secret. Just between you and me."

"And me." A low voice says behind them.

Stiles and Derek jerk their heads back to see Ennis standing behind the couch staring down at them, in his human-werewolfy form.

"Not you again." Derek Stands up, and prepares to spring onto Ennis and attack, but then Stiles speaks.

"What's your name?"

Ennis slowly turns his head to Stiles direction, which by the way is to the left everyone, and makes a low growl. "Ennis. My name is Ennis."

"Hm. Did you say Anus? Your name is Anus? Did your parents hate you?" He questions, Derek's eyes widens and he whispers through his teeth, in Stiles' ear, "Stiles! Shut your mouth." 

Stiles gives him a reassuring look and waits for Ennis's response. 

"What? No. It's EH-NIS. And yes actually they did. Stop talking or I will claw you in the face." He growls again, making his claws come out.

"I see, and why did they hate you?" He continues.

Derek suddenly realizes what Stiles is doing. 

Ennis's mouth drops open and he rolls his eyes, "Um I don't know, I was not like my older brother, I didn't do sports I wasn't on the honor roll. I had like zero fr-wait. Wait you stop now. I don't think you realize how easily I could just snap your fuckin neck."

"And where is your brother now?" Derek joins in, giving Stiles a wink to let him know he knows wassup.

In unison Derek and Stiles cross their arms and stare Ennis down.

"He's dead. I killed him." Frustrated Ennis shakes his head, and rubs the temples on his forhead. 

 "HES DEAD, I KILLED HIM!" Stiles mocks, crossing his eyes and doing a weird thing with his lips. Derek can't hold back a small chuckle. That was for Derek's amusement.

"Excuse me? Are you mocking me?" Ennis yells. 

Stiles rubs the back of his chin with his thumb, acting concerned again "Mhm, and when did you do this?"

"Like ten years ago when I joined the Alpha pack, why? WAIT. SHUT UP RIGHT NOW." He clenchs his fists, and stomps his right foot.

"Alright and did you kill your parents also?" Derek mimicks Stiles rubbing his chin.

"BOTH OF YOU BETTER-"

Stiles cut him off, debating with Derek now, "Of course he killed his parent's if he killed his brother because of his parent's of course he would also kill his parents. They are the reason he killed his brother!"

Derek puts his index finger up to stiles lips, "Sh! Let him speak Stiles, let him speak."

"NO! NO! NO! BOTH OF YOU DUMB ASSES SHUT THE HELL UP-I did not kill my parents, and... but THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" As he takes a step back to spring at Stiles, Derek yanks Stiles arm, and brings him into his chest, and Ennis hits the ground.

"And why didn't you kill them?" Derek asks, as he offers a hand out to help Ennis up.

Ennis curls up in a ball and closes his eyes, "DoN'T. touch me."

"I think we broke him Der" they gentley high five each other, Ennis sniffles, and they turn their heads back down to him.

"Because you are still trying to make them proud of you." Derek says for him.

"Ye- _yes_." He shutters, rocking back and forth.

"Sounds like you should go talk to your parents about this." Stiles tells him, pretending to be concerned.

"All I wanted to do was kill you. You have ruined my moment." Ennis whispers. 

"Here take this tea, I suggest that you leave through the front door considering I live high up." Derek reaches for his light green coffee mug, and brings it over to Ennis. Ennis unable to break from his position, just looks up at Derek.

"Here. Take it." He encouraged.

After a few moments, Ennis sits on his butt and takes the mug, slowly getting back up.

"Here i'll help you." Stiles put an arm around Ennis' shoulders and walks him to the front door. As soon as he was out of the loft, Stiles locks the door, and waits a few seconds.

"Alright he's gone, c'mere." Stiles opens his arms out for a hug, and Derek decides Stiles does deserve a hug. 

"That was pretty good, I'll give you that."

"And without me here, you could have possibly been dead right now." Stiles points out.

" _Possibly_." Derek lifts Stiles up and over his shoulder, 

"Aye what are you doing?" Stiles flails around.

Derek figures Stiles has earned a reward for helping save their lives, "I have a gift for you." Derek tries to stay vague about the fact that he is about to take Stiles virginity.

"Sweet where at?" 

"In my bedroom." Derek replies

"Oh god. _Oh bless you._ _I love you!_ " Stiles cheers

"Good to know." Derek mumbles, and sets him down when they are in his room.

"Oh and also..." Derek trails off, clearly waiting for Stiles to ask _what_. Stiles catches his drift and asks, "Yes?"

"I did miss you." He pulls him in by the hips for a kiss, and shuts the door. 

"I really did think his name was Anus though." 

Then you could hear a smack, and Stiles say, "You suck."

"I'm in love with an idiot." 

"You're such a sourwolf."

 


End file.
